Sorry, mom

It was midnight when my mom PM'ed me on YM.
I was feeling that there must really be something wrong for her to PM me that late.
But yea, my instinct never did fail me!

Next messages coming from my mom started to terrify me, to frustrate me, to put myself in agony. She was flooding me with messages but I cant help but to shut up.

That time, I felt like everything in the world has stopped.
I cried, and shred all the tears I kept from ages.
I know how I hurt my mom so bad and that I was never proud of.
Sorry would not be enough. But I realized that for a mother, it already meant a lot.
I hated myself NOT because I did this and that. But, I hated myself because I did not ask mom for help the time that I needed her most.

I thank this blog for this has always been my outlet of my expression - of what I feel, of what I think.
But I thank my mom more for she understood and responded to my feelings that this blog cannot do.

Failures are part of our lives. They may be unpredictable but they always come on time and with God's permission. If you seemed hopeless, look around you, you got your mom!

my monster mom

Mom, I never questioned why your relationship with my father did not work. All i know, you were enough more than anybody else in my life.
We have always been together (whether I like it or not).
We most of the time fight, argue and quarrel, but I realized Id rather spend bad days with you than not being with you at all.

I thank God for giving me you.
A mother who nags at me when mad, who punches me when I fail, who laughs at my mistakes, a mere fact that you have not become a perfect mother to me.
But because of your imperfection it helped me to learn more what life was really all about. I learned how to accept your shortcomings and being brave on how to face it. I learned how to stand up and prove you wrong for underestimating me. And I learned that a part of what you are, is because of me.

Though you were not a perfect mother as I was not a perfect son to you,
the most important thing was seeing the real love despite of our imperfections.

I love you whoever and whatever you are...
you will always be my mom..and you will always be in my heart.

Happy Mother's day mom...