The IWC-DOTA Team

"We're disbanded"
Should I believe that nothing in the world is constant then?

Someone from their team told me that they are no longer together.
And that is the IWC-DOTA team, perhaps, the "bestest" team for me.
Im not a part of that team though and I dont wanna overreact, but, I witnessed how they all worked hard for one dream, and how they put that into reality.

They won the championship game butting out the rest of the local teams of DOTA. A proof of their hardwork, passion, and dedication.

Its just sad knowing that it was their last tournament as a team. As an IWC-DOTA team. I cant blame them for what happened. I know they felt dismayed too, and they did not want that to happen either. But I guess, its just that...not all good things last forever so nothing is really constant in this world.

I was browsing my photobucket account when I found these pictures:

        

Those pictures were taken during our clan's anniversary eyeball, and I'm with the IWC-DOTA team. Of all the things that happened to their team, Its nice to know that they are still better off as friends. It would not anymore be as tangent the way old back, but well at least, they are still friends.

Now I guess I will swallow every word I said.

Blue, Cyrel, Mark, Ella, and Rod. I was glad I met you guys. I've seen in you the solidarity as a group that I think was the key why the IWC-DOTA team was unbeatable back then.

But since the team wont work for all of you anymore which is a sad reality,
lets just not forget that at least, you can still all constantly remain friends.

I will still see you for our next EB!

Sorry, mom

It was midnight when my mom PM'ed me on YM.
I was feeling that there must really be something wrong for her to PM me that late.
But yea, my instinct never did fail me!

Next messages coming from my mom started to terrify me, to frustrate me, to put myself in agony. She was flooding me with messages but I cant help but to shut up.

That time, I felt like everything in the world has stopped.
I cried, and shred all the tears I kept from ages.
I know how I hurt my mom so bad and that I was never proud of.
Sorry would not be enough. But I realized that for a mother, it already meant a lot.
I hated myself NOT because I did this and that. But, I hated myself because I did not ask mom for help the time that I needed her most.

I thank this blog for this has always been my outlet of my expression - of what I feel, of what I think.
But I thank my mom more for she understood and responded to my feelings that this blog cannot do.

Failures are part of our lives. They may be unpredictable but they always come on time and with God's permission. If you seemed hopeless, look around you, you got your mom!

my monster mom

Mom, I never questioned why your relationship with my father did not work. All i know, you were enough more than anybody else in my life.
We have always been together (whether I like it or not).
We most of the time fight, argue and quarrel, but I realized Id rather spend bad days with you than not being with you at all.

I thank God for giving me you.
A mother who nags at me when mad, who punches me when I fail, who laughs at my mistakes, a mere fact that you have not become a perfect mother to me.
But because of your imperfection it helped me to learn more what life was really all about. I learned how to accept your shortcomings and being brave on how to face it. I learned how to stand up and prove you wrong for underestimating me. And I learned that a part of what you are, is because of me.

Though you were not a perfect mother as I was not a perfect son to you,
the most important thing was seeing the real love despite of our imperfections.

I love you whoever and whatever you are...
you will always be my mom..and you will always be in my heart.

Happy Mother's day mom...

The Pedophile

The following day coming from a resort we moved to a beach nearby.
And there I saw a 40-45 year old American guy with 4 young good looking Filipina ladies in between 15-18 years of age.

Obviously, the American is being escorted by those ladies.
And the ladies were like drunk, singing tagalog songs which I dont know if the american guy is still being entertained the fact of the language of the songs they're singing and their horrible voice, the worst.

Those ladies were staying at a clubhouse where they can sing and drink. And our cottage is just 5-10 feet near them.

I noticed that those girls were already talking about me since i caught them several times taking a mushy peak on me. And here I am, starting to like it. Haha!

I was holding a digicam that time, and they saw me taking pictures of the place so they approached me and asked to get a picture of them which I did.

few minutes we have to pack and leave the place...
Our van was about to leave when a girl ran near the car and asked for my number. .
I was holding her cellphone and I was about to key in my number but the phone went dead. She immediately ran back to her friends and got another phone and when she gave it to me, thats the only time I realized that I dont have a cellphone and not even a sim card. haha. So she went back again with nothing from me.

If only I have a cellphone... uhmm... Haha...

Should you call it Holy Week?

My Holy Week was kind of different this time since I spent it at a resort with my family and friends. We were not able to attend the procession which we anually observe during Holy Week.
We were just there at the resort. Playing poker, strolling, swimming, and us getting drunk.
If this is bad, well I dont know. I have even forgotten the word recreation since the time I have to abide with my busy schedules.

I still can remember when I came accross the top 5 things we are not to do on Holy week, which is stressing me out rightnow. If this is true, then im gonna die!!

1) Don't take a bath during Holy Week.
> Well, for a day I can stand without taking a bath but aint we talking about holy week here? And a week consists of 7 days. So without bath for 7 days? my dog wouldn't like me then.

2) Don't get hurt, else if you get wounded your wound will not heal.
> You serious? Ill pass to this.

3) Don't eat pork or any kind of meat, not eating at all is even better.
> No rice? You've gotta be kidding. This is usually where I tend to violate. I remember when I was serious of not eating meat every Friday since thats considered to be the greatest level of sacrifice, but here comes a family friend of mine who happens to be a non catholic brought us some spaghetties which of course has some meats on it. But again, once your stomach asks for it, you really cant resist.

4) Don't be happy, no laughing, dancing or partying.
> I have known by my friends to be a happy-go-lucky person. I guess I cant pass a day without some smiles and laughters on my face despite how heavy the burdens i carry. Thats actually where I am getting my charm at (",) And dancing and partying? No I didn't. But what about getting drunk? err!!

5) Don't curse.
> Yeah I swear, be it on holy week or not, i never curse.

If i were to be asked if I can consider my holy week a holy one, would you be surprised if I will still say yes? God doesnt judge us by what the people just see throuh their eyes. We are being judged with how pure our heart is, with how sincere and true we are for our actions, and with how brave we are for accepting our sinfulness.

"That if we have the humility, a contrite heart and that broken spirit to admit to God our sinfulness and believe and receive Jesus as Savior and Lord, God will make a way for us to the eternal happiness that we all have been praying for. . ."
-excerpt from a gospel i've read.

Not a beatiful sunday

Its a beautiful sunday..

Not until...  %#^%#^##@!!!
I really cant get it to my nerves everytime I think of what had just happened few minutes ago. I really hate people who's so insensitive to what you feel. Its like, "cant you understand I wanna be alone rightnow so pls get out of my way!" But look, the more I escape from them the more they push theirselves to me.

It all started when... okay... *taking a deep breath* I was awake the whole night and slept at 8:30 AM after doing some tremendous stuffs in the internet (you might now know im a trying-hard web developer and I usually spend a lot of my free time searching codes and scripts which I will just trash in the end. Don't you know how bad is that? )
So there, I was opt to wake up 12 noon for a very important appointment in the mall with someone having only 3 hours and a half sleep.

Then here comes someone trying to lit up the fire in me.

Its now 1:45 PM, I cancelled my appointment and instead of being at the mall, here i am on my desk...blogging, This is how I handle pressure. Rather Speak my heart out here or answer that person back.

Yeah I cracked up, I went off my deep end. but... *taking a deep breath again* now I think, im all set with my composure that I lost, a bit. No one should ever really mess with someone who haven't gotten any decent sleep.

I am just about to start my day, and hoping that this will not mess up my entire day.

Insomniac

It seems that I've been very wakeful these days. Its passed 12 midnight as of writing this entry and hey, I should be sleeping right now. I turned the radio on for the sake of copulating the soundless night, but it didn't help.

Could this probably be the effect of my drug intake? I guess I can read your mind but thats not all about it.

I looked up wikipedia and heres what I found out.
"Insomnia can be caused by mental fatigue, by the timing of sleep, or by stress."

Hmmm... lemme give you my own version of that.
"Insomnia is being caused by working as a call center agent from the stress of dealing with irate customers."

Now im getting more than what I deserve to be in the callcenter.
Im off to work tomorrow evening doing that same old shit.

Timecheck, its now 1:51 AM. Im running out of words rightnow and gonna reserve some tomorrow for another day at the callcenter. Im all set to bed, so pls wish me for a very good night sleep.

Whats inside my kaleidoscope

I usually don't feel like posting stuffs like this in the internet, dunno what even pushed me to register here but it is worth a try. Like what they always say, everybody will all have their firsts, so as this first post in my blog.

My freakin' kaleidoscope.
A kaleidoscope is a tube of mirrors that when rotated creates an arbitrary pattern of beautiful symmetric graphics. I love how that gadget works, it fascinates me. More about kaleidoscopes can be found in this blog. No, its not the gadget, but the approach.

My blog will try to afflict what life is all about. That its you that will decide whether your life will be one of the brightests, or the darkests. Just exactly how you rotate the slope of the kaleidoscope.

Im looking forward to knowing what my kaleidoscope will exhibit as time goes along. Though it will not always be as colorful and as fascinating as i want, but, anytime, we always can spin around and twirl the slope of the kaleidoscope.